One dog's tenacity provides can provide hope for downhearted folks
Friday, August 27, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Grief
I recently sent a sympathy card to a dear woman who just lost her father.
I signed it, saying how sorry I was for her loss. I mentioned that I'd lost both of my parents years ago, but that God has been faithful in providing comfort. I sealed the envelope and put it in the mail at work. I walked away wondering if I'd written too much.
Experts in grief counseling will tell you that the best thing you can do for the bereaved is to just be there and tell them that you're sorry.
Grieving people typically go through the stages of shock, denial, anger, depression and finally acceptance.
I know, because I've been there.
My mom, Evelyn, died in 1993. My dad, Glenn, died in 1996.
I'm an only child.
I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and children, but the loss of my parents still hurt like crazy.
I don't say that to try and discourage people, even though people who've lost dear ones know that I speak the truth.
But I do want to say how faithful and loving God is and how much comfort he provides.
I didn't write this in the card, but if I were going to tell someone what grief was like I'd mention some of the same things that were told to me and which I experienced:
1. The first year is the hardest. The first holidays - Mother's Day, Father's Day, the dates of your loved ones' birth and death won't be easy. However, sometimes the dread that you experience in the days beforehand is worse than the actual day.
2. You need to cry. I read a Guideposts magazine story in which a missionary went to an African village where he saw men wailing over the death of their father. An old man there noticed the missionary's rather surprised response and explained: "It is good to cry over the deaths of our fathers, for the tears help wash the pain out of the heart."
I know from experience that if you have a lot of pain, you need a lot of tears.
3. You need to give yourself a break. Grieving people sometimes forget things and get distracted. That's natural.
4. Seek support. The Lord blessed me by guiding me to a grief support group. It was encouraging to see how much the deceased had been loved. I bonded with the other people in the group and still appreciate that time today.
5. Grief comes in waves. It rolls in and out like the tide. You'll be going along, thinking you're doing pretty well, and then something will hit you and you'll cry. That's normal. It should lessen with time.
6. Know that well-meaning people will sometimes say things that hurt your feelings or upset you. They don't mean to. They're just trying to help. Forgive them. And if anything I say here upsets you, please forgive me. I just want people to know that while they'll go through some tough times, there is hope.
7. Know that Jesus understands grief. Remember how he wept over the death of Lazarus - before he resurrected him? Jesus has compassion for the grieving.
8. Trust God to steer you through the loss. At one point, I'd cried so much that I wondered what I was still crying about.
That's when I really understood what it meant to have a loss.
I wanted the very thing I couldn't have: I wanted my dad back - not sick like he was before his death - but healthy and funny. I wanted him to be able to see my sons graduate from high school and get married and have children - and I'd never have that.
Now I look forward to the day when I'll see my parents - healthy, happy and well - in heaven. I think about all the people I'll be able to introduce them to and all the things we'll have to talk about.
We'll have all eternity to talk and laugh and make new memories - and nothing will ever tear us apart again.
Best of all, we'll be with the true lover of our souls - our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ - in a very wonderful place.
As it says in the Bible: "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev. 21:4).
9. Know that time will go faster than you think. Life on this earth is short. Just wait. You'll be with your loved ones in due time. In the meantime, make the most of every day. Love those around you. Do good to your fellow believers in Christ. Cherish your family and friends. Help those in need. Leave a legacy of love.
Remember what a dear young 4-H'er shared with me recently. After years of fairs, she could tell me this: "It's what you do before the fair that counts."
It's the same here on earth. It's what we do beforehand that counts - not that we earn our way to heaven by works. We can't do that. We're saved by grace through faith, lest any man should boast, but faith and actions work together. (Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. James 2:18).
We exercise our faith muscles by helping others and we please our Lord.
And I want to please God.
At the end of my life, I want so much to hear him say: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
10. Maintain your relationship with God. Pray. Read your Bible. Seek comfort through the word of God. Talk with fellow believers. And know that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18.
Blessings,
Tammy
I signed it, saying how sorry I was for her loss. I mentioned that I'd lost both of my parents years ago, but that God has been faithful in providing comfort. I sealed the envelope and put it in the mail at work. I walked away wondering if I'd written too much.
Experts in grief counseling will tell you that the best thing you can do for the bereaved is to just be there and tell them that you're sorry.
Grieving people typically go through the stages of shock, denial, anger, depression and finally acceptance.
I know, because I've been there.
My mom, Evelyn, died in 1993. My dad, Glenn, died in 1996.
I'm an only child.
I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and children, but the loss of my parents still hurt like crazy.
I don't say that to try and discourage people, even though people who've lost dear ones know that I speak the truth.
But I do want to say how faithful and loving God is and how much comfort he provides.
I didn't write this in the card, but if I were going to tell someone what grief was like I'd mention some of the same things that were told to me and which I experienced:
1. The first year is the hardest. The first holidays - Mother's Day, Father's Day, the dates of your loved ones' birth and death won't be easy. However, sometimes the dread that you experience in the days beforehand is worse than the actual day.
2. You need to cry. I read a Guideposts magazine story in which a missionary went to an African village where he saw men wailing over the death of their father. An old man there noticed the missionary's rather surprised response and explained: "It is good to cry over the deaths of our fathers, for the tears help wash the pain out of the heart."
I know from experience that if you have a lot of pain, you need a lot of tears.
3. You need to give yourself a break. Grieving people sometimes forget things and get distracted. That's natural.
4. Seek support. The Lord blessed me by guiding me to a grief support group. It was encouraging to see how much the deceased had been loved. I bonded with the other people in the group and still appreciate that time today.
5. Grief comes in waves. It rolls in and out like the tide. You'll be going along, thinking you're doing pretty well, and then something will hit you and you'll cry. That's normal. It should lessen with time.
6. Know that well-meaning people will sometimes say things that hurt your feelings or upset you. They don't mean to. They're just trying to help. Forgive them. And if anything I say here upsets you, please forgive me. I just want people to know that while they'll go through some tough times, there is hope.
7. Know that Jesus understands grief. Remember how he wept over the death of Lazarus - before he resurrected him? Jesus has compassion for the grieving.
8. Trust God to steer you through the loss. At one point, I'd cried so much that I wondered what I was still crying about.
That's when I really understood what it meant to have a loss.
I wanted the very thing I couldn't have: I wanted my dad back - not sick like he was before his death - but healthy and funny. I wanted him to be able to see my sons graduate from high school and get married and have children - and I'd never have that.
Now I look forward to the day when I'll see my parents - healthy, happy and well - in heaven. I think about all the people I'll be able to introduce them to and all the things we'll have to talk about.
We'll have all eternity to talk and laugh and make new memories - and nothing will ever tear us apart again.
Best of all, we'll be with the true lover of our souls - our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ - in a very wonderful place.
As it says in the Bible: "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev. 21:4).
9. Know that time will go faster than you think. Life on this earth is short. Just wait. You'll be with your loved ones in due time. In the meantime, make the most of every day. Love those around you. Do good to your fellow believers in Christ. Cherish your family and friends. Help those in need. Leave a legacy of love.
Remember what a dear young 4-H'er shared with me recently. After years of fairs, she could tell me this: "It's what you do before the fair that counts."
It's the same here on earth. It's what we do beforehand that counts - not that we earn our way to heaven by works. We can't do that. We're saved by grace through faith, lest any man should boast, but faith and actions work together. (Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. James 2:18).
We exercise our faith muscles by helping others and we please our Lord.
And I want to please God.
At the end of my life, I want so much to hear him say: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
10. Maintain your relationship with God. Pray. Read your Bible. Seek comfort through the word of God. Talk with fellow believers. And know that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18.
Blessings,
Tammy
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Stung
Our new little Boston terrier, BeBe, was stung by a bee or wasp or something earlier today.
I'd only let her outside for a moment when I heard this high-pitched yelping. I ran outside and she, at first, seemed to be lying in the grass and then stood with a front paw in the air.
It didn't make sense. I couldn't see a puncture wound or a sticker. Our son, Zach, came outside with a blanket and picked her up and carried her inside. He put her on the bed.
She didn't want a drink of water.
I called the vet, who thought she'd been stung by an insect. I was told to give her a baby aspirin and a half of benadryl, so I hurried over to the store.
When I came back, she appeared to be walking, although favoring that leg. I gave her the baby aspirin (they have these bubble-gum-flavored-melt-in-your-mouth kind).
Everything seemed like it was going to be OK.
I was going to get a knife to cut the benadryl tablet in half when I noticed the bumps.
She had them all over her head and on her affected leg.
I called the vet and was told to bring her in. So Zach put BeBe in the car and away we went.
By the time Zach, BeBe and I reached the vet's office, the little dog was covered in bumps.
And with such thin fur, the bumps gave BeBe a reptilian appearance. Imagine Yoda in a tuxedo.
The vet said she'd had an allergic reaction to the sting. He planned to give her a shot and watch her for a few hours and told me to come back.
Poor puppy.
She was yelping and all wound up.
One of the vet's assistants said that the little bumps probably hurt and I prayed that our dog would just be OK.
Now, Chuck plans to pick up BeBe on his way home from work. In the meantime, I've looked up the word "sting" in my Bible's concordance. I found this verse:
"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
It's 1 Corinthians 15:55.
This portion of Scripture is talking about eternal life - something Christ purchased for us when he died on the cross.
Travel further up through the passage and you'll read that "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
Before that you can find the verse: "Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet."
The Apostle Paul, who wrote this text, is talking about the day when Christ returns to earth for his church.
What a wonderful, glorious day that will be!
And what a marvelous place heaven will be!
It won't be a place of suffering or pain.
Or bee stings.
Blessings,
Tammy
I'd only let her outside for a moment when I heard this high-pitched yelping. I ran outside and she, at first, seemed to be lying in the grass and then stood with a front paw in the air.
It didn't make sense. I couldn't see a puncture wound or a sticker. Our son, Zach, came outside with a blanket and picked her up and carried her inside. He put her on the bed.
She didn't want a drink of water.
I called the vet, who thought she'd been stung by an insect. I was told to give her a baby aspirin and a half of benadryl, so I hurried over to the store.
When I came back, she appeared to be walking, although favoring that leg. I gave her the baby aspirin (they have these bubble-gum-flavored-melt-in-your-mouth kind).
Everything seemed like it was going to be OK.
I was going to get a knife to cut the benadryl tablet in half when I noticed the bumps.
She had them all over her head and on her affected leg.
I called the vet and was told to bring her in. So Zach put BeBe in the car and away we went.
By the time Zach, BeBe and I reached the vet's office, the little dog was covered in bumps.
And with such thin fur, the bumps gave BeBe a reptilian appearance. Imagine Yoda in a tuxedo.
The vet said she'd had an allergic reaction to the sting. He planned to give her a shot and watch her for a few hours and told me to come back.
Poor puppy.
She was yelping and all wound up.
One of the vet's assistants said that the little bumps probably hurt and I prayed that our dog would just be OK.
Now, Chuck plans to pick up BeBe on his way home from work. In the meantime, I've looked up the word "sting" in my Bible's concordance. I found this verse:
"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
It's 1 Corinthians 15:55.
This portion of Scripture is talking about eternal life - something Christ purchased for us when he died on the cross.
Travel further up through the passage and you'll read that "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
Before that you can find the verse: "Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet."
The Apostle Paul, who wrote this text, is talking about the day when Christ returns to earth for his church.
What a wonderful, glorious day that will be!
And what a marvelous place heaven will be!
It won't be a place of suffering or pain.
Or bee stings.
Blessings,
Tammy
Monday, August 9, 2010
House cleaning
I'm on vacation this week and I plan to do some cleaning.
With all the work on the book, my house has been suffering. Chuck tries to help some, but he cleans for a living so he's pretty swamped at the end of the day - as am I.
Needless to say, the house has paid the price.
A couple of friends suggested that I do the 15-minute-a-day thing - just spend those brief moments trying to do whatever I could in that time. It wasn't easy getting started, but once I did I began to notice a change after awhile.
And that was nice!
Then I filled in for somebody at work, who was taking a well-earned vacation, all while trying to do my regular stuff.
God was more than faithful and really helped me accomplish a lot at work.
It was amazing.
Yet I was really tired when I came home from work and the 15-minute-a-day routine fell by the wayside.
Now, I'm trying to pick up the pace again.
You know the saying: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
Well, that's become my slogan in recent months.
So as I start in on the house again - after this little blog break - I'm reminded of the elephant analogy and something else:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
I'm also looking ahead to the future. My boss will be gone from Aug. 30 through Sept. 10. That means a lot of responsibility falls on my shoulders. (I covet your prayers.)
Yet as I was reading my Bible this morning, I believe the Lord gave me this: "....Be strong all you people of the land, declares the Lord, and work. For I am with you, declares the Lord Almighty ... And my spirit remains among you. Do not fear." Haggai 2:4-5.
I love the part where it says "Be strong .... and work .... Do not fear."
I love the Lord. He is so strong and gentle at the same time.
Well, it's time to get back to housework.
May the Lord bless and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and give you peace!
Blessings,
Tammy
With all the work on the book, my house has been suffering. Chuck tries to help some, but he cleans for a living so he's pretty swamped at the end of the day - as am I.
Needless to say, the house has paid the price.
A couple of friends suggested that I do the 15-minute-a-day thing - just spend those brief moments trying to do whatever I could in that time. It wasn't easy getting started, but once I did I began to notice a change after awhile.
And that was nice!
Then I filled in for somebody at work, who was taking a well-earned vacation, all while trying to do my regular stuff.
God was more than faithful and really helped me accomplish a lot at work.
It was amazing.
Yet I was really tired when I came home from work and the 15-minute-a-day routine fell by the wayside.
Now, I'm trying to pick up the pace again.
You know the saying: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
Well, that's become my slogan in recent months.
So as I start in on the house again - after this little blog break - I'm reminded of the elephant analogy and something else:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
I'm also looking ahead to the future. My boss will be gone from Aug. 30 through Sept. 10. That means a lot of responsibility falls on my shoulders. (I covet your prayers.)
Yet as I was reading my Bible this morning, I believe the Lord gave me this: "....Be strong all you people of the land, declares the Lord, and work. For I am with you, declares the Lord Almighty ... And my spirit remains among you. Do not fear." Haggai 2:4-5.
I love the part where it says "Be strong .... and work .... Do not fear."
I love the Lord. He is so strong and gentle at the same time.
Well, it's time to get back to housework.
May the Lord bless and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and give you peace!
Blessings,
Tammy
Friday, August 6, 2010
Adjustments
This week, we brought a new dog into our home.
Her name is Betty Boop, but we call her BeBe for short.
She's a Boston terrier and a bundle of energy.
With her extra-short nose and big, bulging eyes, she looks a little like Yoda in a tuxedo. She's wild and in your face - snorting and trying to lick your checks and nose. She paws at your hair.
It's a little much.
This morning, I was trying to get her to go outside. When she wouldn't, I reached down to get her collar - not to be mean, but like I would have for my old hounds.
But unlike them, she didn't decide to head for the door.
Instead, she let out an extra high-pitched yelp and jerked and growled (I think it was a growl. I'm still trying to tell those from her snorts.)
I jumped back in surprise.
It's funny, but Chuck or our son, Zach, can reach down and pet her. When I put my hand out, she ducks away.
People at work think that her previous owners, who had four kids and other pets, probably weren't too nice to her. She seems to really like men, so folks at work think that the kids or the mom might not have treated her so well.
They say it will take time, but they think we can work with her.
My husband, Chuck, absolutely adores our new dog.
I'm still adjusting.
I miss Abby and Jughead. I grew up with a beagle named, Trixie, and I think I'm partial to hounds.
But I did pray that God would give us the right new dog.
So I'm taking this day by day.
And I'm thinking about how God works with us after we've had bad experiences in life.
He's good and patient. He gently guides us and looks for the best us.
"Love is patient, love is kind. ... It is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs ... it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Cor. 13:4-7
Maybe God is trying to teach me something through BeBe.
Maybe I'll go sit down and pet her and remind her, if necessary once again, that my nose doesn't need washing and my eyeglasses don't need re-adjusting.
Blessings,
Tammy
Her name is Betty Boop, but we call her BeBe for short.
She's a Boston terrier and a bundle of energy.
With her extra-short nose and big, bulging eyes, she looks a little like Yoda in a tuxedo. She's wild and in your face - snorting and trying to lick your checks and nose. She paws at your hair.
It's a little much.
This morning, I was trying to get her to go outside. When she wouldn't, I reached down to get her collar - not to be mean, but like I would have for my old hounds.
But unlike them, she didn't decide to head for the door.
Instead, she let out an extra high-pitched yelp and jerked and growled (I think it was a growl. I'm still trying to tell those from her snorts.)
I jumped back in surprise.
It's funny, but Chuck or our son, Zach, can reach down and pet her. When I put my hand out, she ducks away.
People at work think that her previous owners, who had four kids and other pets, probably weren't too nice to her. She seems to really like men, so folks at work think that the kids or the mom might not have treated her so well.
They say it will take time, but they think we can work with her.
My husband, Chuck, absolutely adores our new dog.
I'm still adjusting.
I miss Abby and Jughead. I grew up with a beagle named, Trixie, and I think I'm partial to hounds.
But I did pray that God would give us the right new dog.
So I'm taking this day by day.
And I'm thinking about how God works with us after we've had bad experiences in life.
He's good and patient. He gently guides us and looks for the best us.
"Love is patient, love is kind. ... It is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs ... it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Cor. 13:4-7
Maybe God is trying to teach me something through BeBe.
Maybe I'll go sit down and pet her and remind her, if necessary once again, that my nose doesn't need washing and my eyeglasses don't need re-adjusting.
Blessings,
Tammy
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Her name is Betty Boop
We have a new addition to our family.
No, our grandson hasn't yet arrived. Little Matthew David isn't due until Sept. 16 and naturally we want his mommy to go full term.
But we have a new dog.
We lost our beloved beagle, Jughead, in March and our spaniel-basset cross, Abby, a couple of weeks ago. Jughead was 13. Abby would have been 14 if she'd lived until September.
Both had tumors and died of cancer.
That's been tough.
We have our little, 10-year-old, Buzz, who's part Sheltie and part Welsh corgi.
He's a joy.
Yet the house seemed kind of empty with only one canine. It had been so long since we'd only had one dog.
That was about to change.
Yesterday, I walked in the door and was greeted by a Superball on steroids.
She's a little Boston terrier, who's about 1 1/2 to 2 years old.
My husband, Chuck, who has wanted this type of dog for more than two decades adopted her from the humane society in Omaha.
Chuck decided to name her Betty Boop and call her BeBe for short.
Or maybe it's B.B.
I personally like Betty or Boop, but since Chuck and I both have Aunt Bettys we probably shouldn't call her the former.
Now, I'm still grieving the loss of Abby. I'm starting to heal from Jughead.
I'm just beginning to warm to BeBe.
At first, I wondered if she really was a dog or if she was part kangaroo and part chipmunk. She jumps like a would-be basketball player. I took her to work and she nearly jumped up this woman's smock top!
And she snorts like a pig. (The dog, not the woman.) Sometimes, BeBe sounds like a rumbling, old car.
People get a charge out of her snorting and they seem to be taken with her friendliness.
I'm sure I'll come to love her very much.
After all, she is a dog.
And I've been a crazed dog lover since I was little.
She's a blessing from God and I know it.
Chuck got her for a great price and she just happened to be available the day he stopped in the humane society.
So, thank you Lord, for our new friend.
I have a feeling that she's going to give me a few things to write about in the future.
Blessings,
Tammy
No, our grandson hasn't yet arrived. Little Matthew David isn't due until Sept. 16 and naturally we want his mommy to go full term.
But we have a new dog.
We lost our beloved beagle, Jughead, in March and our spaniel-basset cross, Abby, a couple of weeks ago. Jughead was 13. Abby would have been 14 if she'd lived until September.
Both had tumors and died of cancer.
That's been tough.
We have our little, 10-year-old, Buzz, who's part Sheltie and part Welsh corgi.
He's a joy.
Yet the house seemed kind of empty with only one canine. It had been so long since we'd only had one dog.
That was about to change.
Yesterday, I walked in the door and was greeted by a Superball on steroids.
She's a little Boston terrier, who's about 1 1/2 to 2 years old.
My husband, Chuck, who has wanted this type of dog for more than two decades adopted her from the humane society in Omaha.
Chuck decided to name her Betty Boop and call her BeBe for short.
Or maybe it's B.B.
I personally like Betty or Boop, but since Chuck and I both have Aunt Bettys we probably shouldn't call her the former.
Now, I'm still grieving the loss of Abby. I'm starting to heal from Jughead.
I'm just beginning to warm to BeBe.
At first, I wondered if she really was a dog or if she was part kangaroo and part chipmunk. She jumps like a would-be basketball player. I took her to work and she nearly jumped up this woman's smock top!
And she snorts like a pig. (The dog, not the woman.) Sometimes, BeBe sounds like a rumbling, old car.
People get a charge out of her snorting and they seem to be taken with her friendliness.
I'm sure I'll come to love her very much.
After all, she is a dog.
And I've been a crazed dog lover since I was little.
She's a blessing from God and I know it.
Chuck got her for a great price and she just happened to be available the day he stopped in the humane society.
So, thank you Lord, for our new friend.
I have a feeling that she's going to give me a few things to write about in the future.
Blessings,
Tammy
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